Perdemos mais do que cabelos.

Dizem que viajar nos faz ficar mais ricos.
Num ecrã de computador, a minha família coberta por mantas e caschecois, sorri ao ver a minha imagem transmitida a milhares de kilometros de distância.
As saudades do que deixámos em casa, ou das pessoas que deixámos no caminho, tiram-nos pedaços de nós. Fazem-nos esquecer coisas e tantas outras coisas que temos cá dentro.
Viajei, regressei, parti, fiquei. Um ano depois tudo está na mesma. A universidade de Coimbra pinta sombras e tons de amarelo sobre a alta que lá fica. As pessoas perdem cabelos, memórias e coisas.
Esquecem-se do que tínhamos de bom em tempos. Esquecem-se de quando jogávamos à bola com chuva ou sol. Esquecem-se das gargalhadas que dávamos esquecendo o mundo lá fora.
As pessoas que conheço, perderam já muito mais que cabelos e outras coisas.
Talvez pensem que lá no fundo nunca tenha regressado a casa. Lá no fundo talvez nunca tenha regressado.
Lá no fundo talvez nunca tenha realmente regressado, e talvez esteja ainda lá ao longe. Numa praia de água quente, ou num quarto de hotel com paredes sujas. Lá no fundo, talvez esteja apenas à espera que me liguem no Skype para que veja a minha família sorrir enquanto escondo o não saber quando regressar.

Home is where...

I wonder so many times where home is.

I felt welcomed by Icelandic people, warmed by the German coziness, grateful to be alive thanks to Lao people, and treated as a friend by Australia.

Traveling around the world was an experience. Even better than that was the fact that I wasn't prepared at all for that. I felt as if I was stumbling into an infinite abyss I wrote on someone's diary one day long ago.

Belgium is my home now. Home of those I love, home of people I carry with me inside my heart. But it's also home for "saudades". "Saudades" of things I would love to have brought with me. "Saudades" of friends, couchsurfers, mom, dad. "Saudades" of Eowyn, Sam and Lira. "Saudades" I can't rate, I can't see or explain.

When I was far away, I never felt them as I feel them now. When I was trying to follow the world spinning around.
Sometimes that's what we do. We spin on ourselves to go nowhere but here.

I eager for more, and I wish for something better than that. But wishing, well that's far from what's about to come.

Homesick

Koh Phi Phi turned into something amazing, and since then I had the most amazing experiences since I'm traveling. From seeing someone smashing a motor bike into a shop, to the most amazing sunsets I've ever seen in life. I'm really glad I found someone to share that with, and now all I can think about is that soon I'll need again to say goodbye and to meet someone new again.
Now I'm in Koh Lanta. Probably one of the most relaxing and easy going places I've been at, since I started traveling. I feel as if every day is like a big lazy Saturday but without the feeling of having to work in about 2 days.
I never felt like this before, and it's like a sort of mixed feelings between homesick without having a home to feel that for. It's strange to know that I can't attach myself to anything because it won't last for sure, and this is one of the biggest problems because I'm not sure when to return.
One thing I'm sure of. In February I'll be in Belgium to start a new life. I'll miss traveling for sure, and actually I'm already thinking about it. I don't know how I'll cope with the feeling of not traveling anymore.
I'm a pioneer of my own soul and mind. But sometimes you need to settle down and search for different things.
As someone said once, "Instead of searching for new landscapes, start developing new eyes".

I'm back

After 74 days traveling in South East Asia, I finally get to my 2 last weeks of traveling. I've spent my last 2 weeks at a woofing place nearby Bukit Tingi in Malaysia. Food was great, people were kind and and they had a big big heart. I'm aware of some misunderstandings once in a while, but still in the end I feel I left some friends behind.

Singapore and Malaysia were kind of a breath of fresh air. It is amazing how different this is from Thailand, Laos and Vietnam. Prices are still low, but today I saw Porsches, Ferraris, among other power cars, which makes this country, an Asian city that actually forgot who "she" is.
I've tried hard but I can't seem to find a specific identity in this place. There are Indian, Chinese, Malaysian, among many others, filling the country and painting the city.

I took 2 weeks off, to work on a woofing farm, mainly because I wanted to have a place to call "home" for more than 4 days. Packing and unpacking, were actually stressing me in a way I could actually feel it on my body.

I admit that I don't miss Vietnam at all, mainly because of the people. They were nice sometimes, but not all the time, and sometimes that became stressful.
Now I'm in Malaysia, after 75 days, more than 19000 km, 5 countries, many borders, some money already spent, and many friends left behind.
It's time to reflect a bit about life. Now I actually think about my couchsurfers, and I think about the people I left behind.

Beside my mother and father that I miss the most for sure, I've noticed how much I miss people like Amanda, Malle, Aneta, Zorana, Inês (I know they are all girls but it means nothing) and Ricardo and Nuno. They were and still are so but so important in my life, that in the end I don't have words to thank them enough.

Ok, I don't want to be unfair, mainly because there are lots of others who helped me a lot, and who were there for me, but this ones particularly, were there when nobody else was.
I still don't know where to go, what to do, and how to do it. Now I'll have Thailand to relax, swim and do amazing things I've never done before. I have Australia and many other friends to meet, leave behind, and in the end make then part of who I am.

This is I hope the returning of my blog, and even being difficult to write every day, I'll do my best to keep it updated.

Today is the 13th of November.The 74th day of my round the world trip.

2 months after

I got to Asia and almost nothing went well. I got sick, my mind got sick, I lost people, worried people like hell, and did other nasty bad things that I've never did before.
But then I met amazing people. I met friends, saw amazing things, did amazing things, and in the end I think I'm stronger than before.
Next week I will make a sum up of all of my travels since I came, as I've been just writing on Publico website. So I'll do my best to write small posts about it.
Now it's late and tomorrow I'm heading to Singapore where I'll be hosted by a new Couchsurfer. I'm quite eager for it, and well I'll have more things to tell really soon.

Lariam/Mefaquim – How I almost got stuck inside my mind

 When I first decided to start taking this medicine against Malaria, I listened to the doctor recommendations, actually to several doctors, and I never thought I could get to this point.

It took precious days from my life, where vivid dreams, extreme anxiety and even some paranoia, took my mind to places I never thought I would go to. I wasn’t the only one going to this dark place created by this drug. Unfortunately a friend got caught in it too.

In the beginning I believed that I could get over it. And most of it I thought I could manage the dreams, and all the strange side effects. After all, my dreams and my thoughts would never control who I am. 6 weeks passed already since I started traveling, and I feel I missed a big chunk of it. Whenever I was with someone I felt happy, I even had lots of fun. But whenever I was confronted with my own thoughts, everything was lost. I’m aware of the difficulties brought by traveling, still as many of you know, most of the times I managed to deal with things even if they weren’t in the best way possible. This time, I could do nothing to avoid this dark veil covering my eyes and poisoning my mind.

I can’t even explain how it changed who I am. I forgot why I came here, I forgot to look around and see these amazingly beautiful places surrounding me. I stopped loving food, wishing for chocolate, enjoying a nice warm coffee. I stopped being who I always have been.

Now that I’ve stopped this terrible thing, all I can say is that I will do my best to enjoy these 5 months I have left. Dark times they were, and now I need to see a brighter future ahead. Vietnam has still lots of things to offer and I’m here to enjoy them. 

All I can do is to thank my friends who never let me down, and who always stood there for me.

For you

Finally in Dalat. This is one of most beautiful places I saw since I came here. It's impressive how beautiful the mountains, the lakes, and even the bakeries are. People are different and even the air smells different.
This post won't be like the other ones. It passed one year since you left, and here reminds me of you. I'm feeling to start slowing down.The barrier is breaking and soon I hope I can get in touch with my thoughts.
We all take things for granted and in the end all the plans we make, all the things we go for, can go with the wind.
For quite a while I never had time to relax, think about my limits, or fears, about my hopes or wishes. Slowly here I'm starting to realize what they are, where I stand, what am I made of.
Now it's time to sleep.

Sweet dreams.